I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
