she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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