i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
