So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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