My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
