i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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