Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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