Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
