I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
