You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
