Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
