She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
