i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
soo... how was my night?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
