I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
