Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
