No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
