Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
