it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
