Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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