And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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