idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
