he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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