Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
