Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
