Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
