Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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