found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
