Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
