Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
