Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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