i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
