My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
