Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
