This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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