You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
