i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
