My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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