yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
