If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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