I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
