Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
