We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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