My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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