sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
