doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
