she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I would ride that face into the sunset
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
