I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
