Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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