The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
