Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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